Her Own Hero

All she sees are glares in her direction

All she hears are whispers on the street

But no one's even asked her

All they do is listen and repeat

Deep down, she's worried they're right

Maybe it's her fault after all

She shouldn't have been so drunk

She wouldn't have felt so small


But now, she's her own hero

Now she saves her own day

She doesn't bother to rely

On people.  They all run away


She wonders where her friends were

When she was taken up the stairs

Didn't they see what was happening?

I don't think they cared

She adds her name to percentages

And statistics of girls from before

Who are always told "It's Not Your Fault"

But know the syntax means "Whore"


But now, she's her own hero

Now she saves her own day

She doesn't bother to rely

On people.  They all run away.


The pictures still flood her mind

Tries to force them out, but she can't

She doesn't bother explaining

It's not like they'd understand

Not a day passes by

Without thinking of what could've been

If she'd just started screaming

If she hadn't let fear win


But she's her own hero

Now she saves her own day

She doesn't bother to rely

On people. They all run away.

People will just run away.


A Mile in His Shoes

For Derek


I look in the mirror 

and I hate what I see

Yep, that's my reflection

but there's no way that's me


I'm a mess of bony flesh

I don't recognize my face

Almost like an accident

Just a scribble on a page


My eyes so sunken in

they sleep inside my skull

It's better being empty

when you know you can't be full


Scratches like they track marks

and bruises up and down

Cigarette burns where no one can see them

and, like me, won't be found


I don't think I wanted this

but I'm too far gone to tell

In death, I'll find my happiness

Living was my hell

Confessional

I would run to you, but these roads be treacherous 

I would tip-toe to your heart, but I’m not sure of what’s left of us

and I’m sorry for the way I’ve been

I’m in deep water and I can’t swim

Do you know?  Of course you do, you always did.


So, baby, are you happy?  At least tell me that.

Does your heart skip a beat when she makes you laugh?

Do I ever cross your mind?

Am I everywhere, or out of time?

Can we rewind?  It’s just that I’m not much stronger than this


And everything I remember haunts me in my dreams 

Can we go back to September, cuz lately things have seemed

so complicated, and I fucking hate it.

How much longer can we take this?

But all I have to say is:


Do we still have the people we were?

You made me feel like the world’s only girl.

I’m sorry I got too attached

Your love was strong, so I loved you back


We never said it but we felt it

I know we did

We never said it but we felt it

I know we did

You can’t deny that you and I had something different

We never said it but we felt it

I know we did

Blunts n' Roses

For Timothy Alexander Chaloux, written a week after his death


I've been losing sleep

Looking for ghosts, counting runaway sheep

Too many promises to keep

I'm over my head, I'm in too deep


Nothing makes sense anymore

I watch the walls melt to the floor

But I've felt this feeling before

Phantoms filling long corridors


I thought heaven was on my side

and I thought God always did the right thing

and then all of your best friends break down in parking lots

and you can't feel anything


Smoke blunts til you can't see straight

Roses line an untimely grave

Just another soul you couldn't save

The hero's work is never repaid


Did you see the boys got tattoos of your name?

And at Christmas, the girls decorated the tree where you crashed

and all I can think of is seeing you that friday

Not knowing it was the last